Coming soon to a theatre near you: Original Star Wars Trilogy Special Super Lightsaber Edition Theatrical Re-Re-Release Jubilee?
The movies we all know and love, movies that have been tinkered and tinkered with, will soon be re-re-released nationwide in theatres in new tinkered glory. Again. Just in time for Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
I saw an advanced screening of these three classic movies at a private coffeehouse event in Kansas City. Less than 20 people were in attendance. I was sworn to secrecy and signed several different non-disclosure agreements … but what I saw was so shocking that I had to spill the beans. So be it if I am named in a lawsuit from Lucasfilm or Disney. The truth must be told. Heads up for cray chaos my geek peeps!
I will detail some of the most obvious and egregious additions that I noticed. I am sure there were more. It will take additional viewings to catch them all.
Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
1.) The grave of Anakin Skywalker’s mother Shmi can be seen in wide shots of the Lars homestead moisture farm on Tatooine.
2.) “He was the best star-pilot in the galaxy and a cunning warrior,” says Obi-Wan Kenobi to Luke Skywalker. Luke replies, “He was also a champion podracer.”
3.) During the iconic R2-D2/Princess Leia Organa hologram “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope” speech, when Leia mentions General Kenobi serving her father in the Clone Wars, a hologram photo of a smiling Jimmy Smits’ Bail Organa, cape and all, from the prequel trilogy, appears to her left.
4.) Added Boba Fett dialogue in the Jabba the Hutt/Han Solo docking bay 94 scene: “Mighty Jabba, it’s just like my dad Jango used to do.”
5.) An alien in Mos Eisley randomly says, via subtitles, that he’d “rather be on Jakku.”
6.) When the planet Alderaan is destroyed by the Death Star we’ve always seen Obi-Wan feel a disturbance in the force. In this version, immediately afterwards there is a cut to Master Yoda on Dagobah that shows he too feels the disturbance.
7.) Just before the fight between Darth Vader and Obi-Wan begins, Vader says, “We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master. No high ground for you this time. You’ve always underestimated my power. Die!”
Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
1.) While searching for Luke after he does not arrive at the Hoth base, R2-D2 makes a veiled references to C-3PO’s memory being erased in the past to which 3PO replies, “I wish the Maker were here to discipline you, twerp!”
2.) When Han Solo says, “Laugh it up fuzz ball” to Chewbacca on the ice planet Hoth, there is additional dialogue from Solo: “Don’t make me send you back to densely forested Kashyyyk , your home world, my furry, tall friend!”
3.) It was a nice touch that, during the scene where Lord Vader is in his chamber talking to the holographic Emperor, there is a holo-photograph on the console of Anakin Skywalker standing next to Ahsoka Tano, Anakin’s disgraced young padawan learner and future rebel supporter from The Clone Wars and Rebels animated series.
4.) “Judge me by my size do you?” Master Yoda says to Luke as they are training on Dagobah, “I’ve beheaded many an enemy twice as me large! In the Clone Wars, yes! Emperor Palpatine I fought. With lightsaber! Yes!”
5.) After the rebels are turned over to Darth Vader on Bespin’s Cloud City, Darth Vader makes a comment to Lando Calrissian, upon looking at the broken pieces of C-3PO, that he was the one who built him. Lando nods.
6.) After Vader cuts off Luke’s hand, there is a long tracking shot that follows the hand, still clutching the lightsaber, on its complicated journey to deep space. I foresee this has direct ties to The Force Awakens.
Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi
1.) At Jabba’s palace there are a plethora of additions. There is a picture of Jabba’s son Rotta, as a baby, on the wall. An elderly Watto holds a conversation with a sleeping Gamorrean guard. A human male, older, sits in the crowd with a blatant nametag that reads “Ezra Bridger!”
2.) A small scene was added after Leia is taken into custody at Jabba’s palace where Boba Fett cries at his father’s helmet, which is glorified on an alter of sorts.
3.) At the Great Pit of Carkoon, R2-D2, instead of launching the light saber towards Luke, rockets over the sarlacc pit to the skiff and joins the battle.
4.) After Jabba’s Sail Barge is destroyed, one hears blaster fire and out climbs Boba Fett from the pit. He nods at the camera and says, “For Jango! For Kamino!”
5.) Master Yoda dies, as Luke is speaking with Obi-Wan about Darth Vader being Luke’s father, much new dialogue is awkwardly added/changed through extensive use of computer technology: “He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. Order 66 was issued. He killed Younglings Luke – cut them down like Mynok chewing on power cables. I thought I defeated him on the volcanic planet Mustafar after our deadly duel. You mother died of a broken heart. So sad, Padmé, so sad. So what I told you was true… from a certain point of view.”
6.) As Luke is being attacked by Emper Palpatine’s force lightning on Death Star 2 as Vader looks on, Qui-Gon Jinn can be heard talking to Vader, urging him to save his son.
That is all I can remember. I wish there were more.