Three weeks ago I had a heart attack. I am having a strange time coping with it all. I am super happy to be living. My dad died at 37 of a heart attack and stroke. I am 41. I was lucky.
Thanks and much love to friends and family for their support in recovery with lifestyle changes etc. I have very few people that are actively involved in my life. One does a lot of thinking when one is sprawled out, conscious, as doctors put stents in the heart, not knowing my fate. Time slowed and sped up. It was surreal.
Such a experience puts life into a unique perspective that not many people get to have. Maybe it’s and enlightenment of sorts. Maybe it’s a strange peace mixed with primal fear.
Regardless, such an experience is life changing and makes one cherish little things. Like time. Time is short. Life is short. I cherish time with family. Any time, no matter how small. I cherish time with friends. I even cherish work, where I get to make a small difference in youthful lives by setting an example of smart goodness.
Before my heart attack I always used to tell the people in my life how much they meant to me. Now that I have faced a possible death, I plan on cherishing my relationships more than ever. I am a good, smart and unique human with a gaggle of interests and quirks.
I may not have the most ideal of personalities. At times I can be difficult and stubborn. At times I am filled with drama. At times I am emotional. I am just me. I live for a living. I like having experiences and adventures. I like sharing experiences and knowledge with others. I really love sharing experiences with others; be it a meal, a road trip, a movie or a walk in the park. No time spent with others is time wasted in my opinion, no matter how brief.
The heart attack was a experience. It made me think about a whole bunch of things. It is beautiful. It is terrifying. I will not take anything for granted anymore. Who knows how long I have left.
In the meantime I will live. With no regrets. I don’t apologize for being me.